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Recently I've been somewhat addicted to reading Lolita Secrets, and I must say it's a little depressing. (・_・、) There's so much negativity.
Honestly I don't spend a lot of time on the communities because for two reasons. One, I'm lazy and frankly if I have the patience to put together any kind of loliable outfit I neglect to take pictures and two, I have a bit of a fear of joining fashion communities on the internet after my bad experience with Daily Gyaru. Even though I know there must be a fair amount of drama or whatever in any kind of community where fashion is discussed but I guess I was still clinging to the idea that lolita is still about sisterhood, modesty, and... well... happy things!
Why must they be so negative towards not only against other types of lolita, each other but other subcultures! Honestly anyone who falls under a subculture looks a little unusual to the rest of society, so why do we seem to hate on each other so much? What about sisterhood? What about originality?
Honestly this has left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth, which is sad considering what a sweet style it is.
I think it's more important to focus on making myself look good instead and feel happy and confident in anything I wear, not trying to fit into a style of dress that's so full of negativity!
Let's find some confidence ladies! We're worth it!
Weather we want to our not it's easy to get swept up into the subcultures of fashion and identify with I certain label (such as lolita, emo, gyaru... Ect.) We spend so much time, energy and money on a certain fashion or lifestyle, so when something comes along to make us feel like we're not doing it right, well, it's heartbreaking!
（；へ：）
I experienced this last year when my dreams of gyaru were trampled by my rejection from the Daily Gyaru community. I have to admit that was really sad. I thought I was doing an okay job at Gal and even Mamba (Yes I want through a mamba phase... Don't shame me) but then I was basically told that I'm was good enough.
So how does one get over something like that? When your identity (however silly it may be) is put into question and you have to decide if it's really worth continuing. For those of you who don't let negativity set you back, I salute you and hold you at the highest admiration! Unfortunately though, not all of us are strong enough to recover from a fashion identity crisis quite as easily.
So where do we go from there?
My rejection from everyday Gyaru really put me at distaste with Japanese fashion or any sort of label for a while. I've never really regained an interest in Gal style (Besides learning Para Para for anime conventions) but I have taken a liking to other subcultures, like Lolita! (Duh ._.') Even so, I'm not sure if I really want to dive headfirst into Lolita. (I think I've found a happy balance with Quaintrelle style though.)
It took a while to really regain confidence after that though. It was very upsetting and I sort of had to take a step back from the whole thing and say "Is this really what I want for myself? Will this make me happy?"
I think if the clothing you wear, the lifestyle you lead and the friends you have make you happy, then why worry about labels? If you like big puffy lolita skirts but you're not too keen on the idea of wearing bonnets and tea party shoes then why let anyone tell you you're not allowed to do that?
Lolita lifestyle and culture may be enough to make a lot of us happy, (And there's nothing wrong with that.) but for some it takes a little more than tea parties and petticoats.
Labels are for soup. Do what makes you happy.
